Last night while watching Let’s Talk About Pep (the new show on VH1 with Pepper from Salt and Pepper) my husband and I started to talk about how families are starting to be a thing of the past and how now it seems that more women are choosing to pursue a career and not a family.
Jacque Reid is a part of the cast and she was talking about how badly she wanted a child but she wasn’t in a relationship that was leading to marriage. Her GYN convinced her to ask an ex-boyfriend or a close male friend to father a child with her since she was getting older and her risks involved with pregnancy were increasing greatly. This made me think when did we stop thinking about having or starting families in lieu of careers? I started to think of my friends and realized that I am in the minority being married that it’s more the norm and commonplace to be single and dating than it is at my age (27) to be married with children.
I remember when I was a little girl I wanted to be so many things but the one thing I knew I wanted to be was a mother. Is this the problem though, is it that so many families now don’t come with fathers that we are forgetting them all together? I grew up with both my parents, married and they are still married to this day. I knew I wanted to be married and have children too.
Who doesn’t? That’s what I use to think when I was younger but now things have seemed to change. So I ask what happened to our families? Are single-parent homes a reason why? The low number of men available? Our drive and determination to be successful no matter what? Being picky? There are so many reasons why it could be. CNN says according to the US Census that 45% of black women have never been married. That’s a huge number and a scary one at that. So it makes me wonder even more if marriage becoming a thing of the past? Will it become taboo one day to say you are married? Why don’t more people want to or choose to get married?
Is society to blame for this shift in the way of life? How has pre-marital sex affected relationships and marriage? I think I have hundreds of questions and very few answers, like I stated earlier I am in a group of people that are married but I fear soon that we will really be a minority. What do I have to look forward to with my son and daughter? When she is my age with people still be getting married?
I think it’s time for families to start to make a comeback. There is no joy in the world like watching my kids grow up. I get to see what my parents felt like when they had me. To see them learn first words, first steps, teething, potty training, the first day of school, and prom, these are things that I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for but could it be easy for me to say that since I have it.
If I had never experienced it before would I say that same? Don’t get me wrong I don’t have a problem with anyone who just doesn’t want kids or a husband at all. There’s nothing wrong with that, but why wait till you are 40 to now decide I must have a baby today and I can figure out where the husband is coming from later. If you were a man would you father a child with a female friend just so she could be a mother?
What role would you then play in this child’s life? Do you sign away all rights? Whose responsibility is it to raise that child? What happens if you get married later and have to explain it to your other children? On that note, I will end here today. I think I am gonna keep this topic going for a while. I want to know more about this. If you are single and don’t plan on getting married soon or just want kids please feel free to speak.
The Submissive Wife
