How to Overcome Crises in Family Life
They say “home is where the heart is”. By “my heart” I mean my family. Now, after so many years we have spent together, I cannot imagine a better family. Even though our children have their own families now, their father and I share the same beautiful feelings as long time ago. 45 years have passed since we said “Yes” to each other and now we are starting our romantic mature dating period. You know, each age has its own charm just like each period in the life of a couple.
Of course, our life hasn’t been a paradise all the time. Creating a happy family is a hard work, which the two of you must do together. Psychologists discuss about 4 main crises in the life of a couple. However, it’s not a rule and maybe in your relationship such crises may not even appear. I experienced 5 crises and want to warn you before you make a wrong decision to end your relationship.
As a rule, the first crisis comes up after 3 years of marriage. It happens because the two of you haven’t learnt yet to accept each other’s visions, tastes and imperfections. Dating is a wonderful period, but living together is different. Be patient. Recall the magic moments you spent together. Don’t let the routine destroy your beautiful feelings.
A lot of couples confessed that they experienced some tension while waiting for the first baby. You will say that it’s illogical. And it is, indeed.
Why the most wonderful period of your family life can be perceived as the worst one? Here is the answer: the lack of experience and fear are getting stronger in those moments. That’s why the internal stress comes up and brings the tension between the partners. In this case, the man should be the one who’d better come to terms with the wife’s mood and calm down the situation.
After 7 years of marriage, comes the 3rd crisis. Psychologists consider it the most difficult one. They say the main problem at this stage is the routine. The partners get to know each other so well that it may result into a double-edged weapon: or they get bored, or become the happiest couple in their little world. If you really appreciate the relationship you have built together, recall your best moments and save your family.
I call it “the men’s crisis”. When the man gets 45-50 years old, he gets afraid of his age. He wants to “stop” the time in some way and starts looking for adventures. Sometimes such adventures are short-term, other times they may put an end to your common life. A wise wife should fight for her love, that’s all I want to say.
Whenever a crisis comes to your life, don’t clam up. Tell about your feelings. If you truly love, you will pass this exam successfully. Good luck!